(Sorry I haven’t posted in two days!!! In the past two days I have been very busy trying to find a job! I’m sure no one missed me!)
So in middle school, mid way through the year, I felt like my class mates hated me, my parents didn’t trust me. I had no place to really turn. But I always had music. The trusted adult mentioned in “Grad Confession #1: Middle School Part I” was an instructor at the boys and girls club I went to. She was fired by that time anyways. My parents liked that was so into music, and she was my first vocal coach. When she found out that I guess I possessed some type of talent in performing arts, she took me under her wing. Then I became apart of her musical group. We traveled the city singing, rapping, spoken word, just performing anywhere we could. I spent my weekends with her and the group. During the day we performed, and at night we wrote, recorded!
Music is something that means a lot to me. I love it. SERIOUSLY!! I HAVE A BIG ASS TATTOO ON MY RIGHT ARM DEDICATED TO MUSIC!!! It was always something I could escape into.
Now that trusted adult was really in her early 20’s, and a struggling musician. People let their children spend every night of the weekend with her not knowing how much freedom she gave to the teens of the group.
After my parents found out she did not immediately tell them about my internet boyfriend they allowed me to do one more show with her, then I saw her graduation, and I never saw her again in life. She always emailed me trying to get the group back up, but its not going to happen, or be the same.
With that being said, all my musical talents went to waste I feel. I had no gigs, no mentor, if I wrote a song; I was writing for my health it was pointless. In middle school, through out the year, you apply to high school. I wanted to go every where but that school, where all the gang bangers went, and the school where kids get shot for looking around the corner. I got accepted into a performing arts school. Which I was beyond excited about but my parents wouldn’t let me, because it was too far.
Even though I was able to take the big test, I didn’t score high enough to get into a selective enrollment school. I started feeling like hope was lost. I wasn’t getting into any schools I applied for, and the performing arts school was too far.
My counselor came into my classroom, (The Only 8th grade class in the building!) and announced a knew school opening down the street but it was a military school. I completely disregarded that entire announcement!
When I went home, I told my mother, and I remember saying. “It’s a new military school opening, but I don’t want to go to military school!” She said, “Ok” and that was that.
Two weeks later I get called into the counselor’s office. Mr. K said, “I talked to your mother about that military school, she’s going to make you apply!” At that point I cursed that man out! All he said was “Sorry I didn’t know.” I left that office thinking of things to tell my mom, so she wouldn’t make me apply.
When I got home, she was more upset I didn’t tell her about the school. Which I totally did!!! A few weeks later, I had to go to an interview for this school. I tried to sabotage it by acting up… I was madder than the Mad Hatter!!! I laughed uncontrollably, and repeated things more than once to myself out loud, it was crazy… The Messed up part was I still got into the school.
Graduation day, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t sad. I was pissed off. I was in a Mexican ass outfit, with shoes I couldn’t even walk in. I wasn’t going to miss any of these people. While everyone was crying, I just couldn’t wait to never be in that building again. I hated every part of middle school. I don’t even like looking at my diploma!!! It’s easier to write about this stuff, but never ask me in person!!!
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